8 weeks

Our first ultrasound was done at 8 weeks; a little earlier than planned. This ultrasound feels like ages ago but it was only over a month.

It was a regular Saturday morning. Trav was at work and I woke up to find I was home alone. Curling up on the couch with some breakfast and my computer I became lost in the world of pinterest. As usual, I had to get up to use the restroom, my new favorite past time. As I went to flush ( sorry for the graphics) I realized the toilet was filled with blood. My first reaction was shock. I left the bathroom and sat on the couch. I didn't have any cramping. I didn't feel different. What was going on. I called my mom and sister which is where I than began to freak out. They both said: go be seen...now. As a shaking, tearful mess I call the nurse advice line for Kaiser who said the same thing, " Always come in with blood."

Trav received a somewhat frantic phone call. I could barely get the words out. Without hesitating he told me he would leave work and meet me at the hospital in Irvine that we would deliver at. From his calming voice to constant texts he kept reminding me that God was in control and would protect our little babe.

The drive to the hospital I spent talking to my sisters and mom who were already praying their hearts out. When I couldn't talk anymore, I turned up the Fish and tried to focus on just getting to the hospital When we went inside we didn't even get a chance to sit down. As soon as they found out I was pregnant they took me right back to my room where the OB cart and everything was already waiting for me. The doctor was in within minutes. Since we hadn't had our pregnancy "confirmed" he ordered an ultrasound, along with blood work, IV fluids, and exams.

The nurse came into to tell me I needed a full bladder for the ultrasound and it would probably take 45 minutes. Trav and I both laughed while I replied, " Give me 7 minutes and I will have to go." With the IV fluids and large glass of ice water, I think it took 3 :) The ultrasound tech came in to grab me and she told Trav that we would be right back. The panicky feeling returned. Wait, my husband can't come with me?!? She informed us that in the ED it is patients only and he would have to wait. That may have been the worse kind of torture for both of us.

By the time we wheeled into the room, I was on the shaky side. Every thought was running through my head.  What if something is wrong with our child? Something that can't be fixed or saved? What if it's already to late? What if...what if...what if. I had to tune my rapidly running, worse scenario mind out with singing my favorite praise song.

Our ultrasound tech was not bubbly sweet kind. In fact, she took the monitor and turned it so I could not see. I wanted to cry. Please just let me see our baby. In response, I turned the opposite way and focused in on a spot on the wall while she clicked ad checked away. What felt like an hour later she casually said, " You can see your baby in a minute." What! The baby! Is he/she ok? As those thoughts were going through my mind she turned the volume on and I heard the most beautiful sound I have ever heard: our baby's heart beat. It was the faster lil "lub dub" but it was beautiful and I again found myself a weeping mess. I looked at the tech and managed to say, " everything is ok?" As she replied she turned the screen and this is what I saw:

She told me our baby had a strong, healthy heart beat. You could even see all four heart chamber moving in rhythm. I was overjoyed. But I wanted to get back to Trav to tell him! As we came back into the room, my sweet husband was sitting in his chair and I knew he had spent the past 15 minutes wondering what was going on with us. As the tech left the room she looked at Trav and said, " Congratulations, Dad!" His jaw dropped and he looked at me. I handed him the picture of his child and I think his jaw dropped a little more. With tear filled eyes he said, " That's our baby. " We rejoiced in our little hospital room and thanked the Lord for keeping him/her safe.

The doctor came back in to tell us what had happened. I was put on miscarriage precautions until cleared by my OBGYN. Which meant doing nothing that turned out to be much harder than I had thought. We were thankful for all of our family who flooded our phones with comforting texts and lifted us up in prayer throughout the afternoon. We definitely felt some peace through that. We came home to enjoy dinner with our Hardeman support team.

Baby Hardeman is one lucky child to be coming into a family that is filled with so much love and who is always there to support.