DIY Menu Organizing = Amazing!

While blog stalking fun things to make I stumbled across this super cute menu organizer. I love it! I've missed being able to plan out menus for the week. I blame my older sisters for certain things I do because I have grown up watching them and menu planning would be one. Their grocery shopping is much more organized than mine ( and they prob save more) because they know what they need for the entire week. This organizer is so cute because you can write down your shopping list, place your recipes in slots for the days they will be used, and store coupons. Now I need someone who can teach me to sew because as far as I have gotten are just buttons and simple stitching! 

Is it weird that things like this make me excited for the future, for one day being a mom with something like this hanging on my fridge?Ah, one day!

Click here to go see the site and DIY instructions!

Finding Simplicity

How hard is it to find simplicity? I don't know about you but in the fast paced, living large Orange County life style, I find it hard. Extremely hard. Days are packed full. More is better definitely seems to be the trend. Cell phones, computers, tv, and Ipads are always present.  And on top of it all, we seem to run ourselves ragged. 

I recently joined a bible study with a group of fabulous women of the Lord and we are working through a study called  Becoming a Woman of Simplicity. I didn't realize how much I desperately wanted a life of simplicity until I began reading. The first week they met was right after we returned from our trip and being the space cadet I can sometimes be I totally forgot about it. That sounds bad. I'm sure you are thinking, " How do you forget bible study!?" But I did. Than this past week I hopped on the 57 an hour before it started to head to Irvine. An hour later I hadn't even made it Angel's Stadium. Traffic was absurd. In fact, I began talking out loud in my car because I was convinced the devil was keeping me from making it there. I almost gave up and turned around. He almost won. But out of no where traffic let up and it was smooth sailing the rest of the way. I did a somewhat victory/evil laugh and said, " Ha! See! You can't keep me away" ( Do you think he can hear us? Or maybe he just tunes our obnoxious, victorious comments out.)

This past week we talked about grace. Whew. That's a subject that could be talked about for a whole year and I think I would still not totally understand why I am given such an incredible gift...for free. The author talks about how grace simplifies our lives. I can't get enough of the verses on grace. Ephesians 1:3-8 talks about how we are chosen, about how He adopted us. So stinking cool.  All because He loved us. That blows my mind. I'm so completely far from perfect, I fail so much, and I often think I don't measure up to those around me yet my God chose me as His child. He adopted me into His family so I could be an heir. To carry on His legacy.  I am perfectly imperfect in Him. If you ever have a day where you feel like you don't measure up or that you don't deserve much, remind yourself that you were chosen and that you are given this free gift of grace!

We went on to talk about doing God's work. For some, it is their profession. A friend talked about how working in a non-Christian school is her ministry. What an incredible ministry because she can't read a bible story or say a prayer, it's her actions that have to show Christ's love to others. In Titus 3:8 the words "excellent and profitable for everyone" are used in regards to doing what is good. That's the ripple effect. Those random acts of kindness. Like when someone in the drive through who you have never met pays for your order before you get to the window. Than a few weeks later you find a way to do a random act of kindness. Or maybe it's by volunteering somewhere and by doing so it encourages someone else to do good from good intent. God smiles on those acts of love and when we accept His grace, those acts come from a good intent for we know we aren't saved by them but instead are doing His work here on earth. " They are not the price of salvation, but the proof." - Cynthia Heald, Becoming a Woman of Simplicity.

There was a certain point that hit me hard. For me, ministry has been many things but my heart has been in Africa since I was in high school. But things may change in the next 10 years. My ministry may change. For this trip to Kenya in a few weeks may be my last for awhile. 

 Cynthia Heald said, 

" This was a turning point for me. I came to realize that ministry from God's perspective could be to my family or wherever he happens to place me at that time. Because He knows that my heart is to serve Him- to work out the results of my salvation- He continues to confirm in my heart that I am valuable to Him and that He is capable of guiding me and placing me where He wants me to serve."

That might be hard for me to grasp at first. When we start a family ( not any time soon!), what I think my ministry is now will change. Being a mom is a ministry in itself and I hope I can graciously accept that for a brief time in my life I have to let go of my desire to be in Africa. I don't know when that will be but I'm going to soak up Kenya this trip. The girls made good points that while I may not be going back over the next few years, how awesome will it be to take my children there someday. To show them how to serve in a whole new way. I look at my sister Leanna who has never been but yearns to go. Because of her passion to serve, my niece Maddie frequently raises money from lemonade stands for Uganda, makes headbands to send over, and dreams of one day collaborating with her super cool aunt to open a home for orphans over there. Pretty awesome!

One final quote from a study I am quickly falling in love with. 

" ...I can always fall back into choosing to serve in order to meet a need in my own life or because I want to please people. If any service begins to replace my spending time with God or if I become overly burdened and burned out, than I need to reevaluate my ministry....This is your line of service - to see there is nothing between Jesus and yourself."

As I can sense that more life changes are just around the corner, I pray my heart remains that of being His servant. I pray that I always am reminded that my service requires full concentration with Christ. I pray that I continue to seek simplicity.To truly become a woman filled with it. I pray that I am always open to allowing God to place me where he wants me to serve.  

And that I remain still. For in those quiet moments, He whispers and I don't want to miss out.

Who Am I ( Blacklight hands)

I have always loved this song by Casting Crowns. When I saw this video I had to share it!

Enjoy!!

little heart, BIG love

Last Sunday Travis and I experienced something I really pray we never will have to again: a child's funeral. A family from our church & school lost their 3 year old son on Monday of this past week. Tragic does not even begin to describe it.

We had the privilege of having his older sister, Emma, in our Sunday School class all of last year while she was in my mom's kindergarten class. Her little bro would run in to pick her up, pulling at her arms to come with him. She was his playmate, his pal. While we didn't have a personal relationship with Scotty, we knew his mom and his big sister.

All last week emotions stirred in me. Why does this happen? How can you, God, let this happen? He was three! Only three! He didn't have a terminal illness, there was no trauma or no medical history. In fact, the autopsy was inconclusive. There is no medical reason yet why he died so suddenly one Monday morning. On Saturday night friends gathered around the Hardeman's table. My friend Ashley was talking about this book called Heaven is for Real. Another friend brought up a good point, one that had been bouncing around in my head. " We know where we are going when we die, we know we are saved. Yet, why do we fear death so much?"

Sometimes I think it's because we know what we want to do with our lives. Where we want to go. How long we want to live. To us, it makes sense for someone to pass away at 89 but 3, that's just not the right age. Yet, here we go being humans again. Here we are trying to write our own purpose, our own timeline. But it has already been written for us. I couldn't understand why God let something like this happen. Than we went to Scotty's funeral and I caught a glimpse at how God works.

I started crying the minute we walked in the doors of our church and saw his little Tonka dump truck, sand bucket, and construction hat on the steps leading up to the alter. Mounted all over were pictures of a smiling little blonde, blue eyed boy who was full of life. One particular picture had him dressed as an angel standing over a manger with a babe in it. More tears. His parents walked the casket in. Emma led the way, head held high and so brave. Caskets should not be made that small. No parent should ever have to bury their child. Another thing that just was not right. His service was beautiful. It opened with his family's favorite worship songs. Following those  two teachers from the pre school read letters that every teacher who had had him in class wrote about him. This is where I began to see how cool God is. This is where I saw how he works in the smallest of way. This is when I saw how He decides our purpose.

For every one of those letters read talked about Scotty's hugs, his love, his smiles, and his kind heart. I began noticing that I haven't ever met someone so small who understood "loving  thy neighbor" as he did. In his short little life he got it. He got that Jesus loved him and so he showed others Christ's love every single day. He greeted everyone he saw with a hug. He smiled. All the time. In fact they mentioned it was contagious and that he was so polite, so caring, so kind. Love overflowed out of him. Jesus overflowed out of him and it affected people around him. They noticed. They saw something different about this little blonde, blue eyed boy. Their final letter was from the janitor, "Mr. Juan" as he called him. Mr. Juan wrote that every single morning he was greeted with a big hug and a warm smile from Scotty. He said most people ignore him but Scotty made him feel like somebody. Scotty made him feel special. Important. Worth something. Scotty would yell from across playgrounds, gyms, and rooms, " Hi Mr. Juan", changing his day. He said there were days when the weight of the world made him feel like nothing, where he was down and in dark places. Than Scotty would appear. Scotty was a light in the dark places for Mr. Juan. On his last day here on earth Mr. Juan was greeted with one of his famous hugs. But this time Scotty did something different. He laid his head on Mr. Juan's shoulder and whispered, " I love you, Mr. Juan." With a squeeze he took off. Mr. Juan said it felt like he was saying goodbye but I love you always. He said Scotty may have been small but he left huge footprints in his heart. Each person who spoke referred to Scotty as their angel.

Trav and I were remembering the day Scotty, his mom, and Emma were baptized. When it was his turn he walked up to the font, was lifted up, he grabbed ahold of each side and charged his head forward as if to say, " Let's do this. I'm ready." Scotty told his friends at school that following week that he was God's child. That Jesus loved him and each of them. More footprints he left behind.

While to us, death at a young age seems wrong. Not right. Unfair. I could go on and on. But there is no right age. The only thing is our purpose, the reason we are here. We were meant to love, to live a life that is centered around God. To share His love. To be Him to those we meet not matter who they are. To find joy in everything. To be excited about being His child, about loving each other as He loved us. I'm almost 26 years old and I am still figuring it out. Here was a 3 year old who just got it. I want to be like that. I want to be like Scotty where love radiates out of me. When Jesus overflows from me. Where I find joy in everything. 

The preschool led all of us in singing his favorite songs. Through tears, the whole congregation joined in. The last song they also showed  video of him singing it and at the end he said, " I love YOU" to his dad. Such a simple song but he did indeed have a little heart with a great BIG love for Jesus!

My Little Heart

My little heart has a great big love

A great big love for Jesus

My little heart has a great big love

A great big love for Jesus

I heard him knock, I let him in

Now my little heart has a great big love

A great big love.....for Jesus!

Soul Surfer

Travis and I went to see this last night. I highly recommend it. When we sat down in the theater we realized there was a group of 40 jr. highers behind us. I will admit, we were both annoyed. They were already loud and we really didn't want to miss half the movie because of background noise. But than Trav said," Wait. They are from a youth group." That's when I realized that those kids had chosen to spend their Friday night together at this movie to watch the story of a young girl who gave it all up to the Lord and overcame something greater than any of us could imagine. Awesome. They could have been anywhere but they choose this.

The theater was packed. I imagine a good 75% of the crowd were Christians. But the other half came because they knew a little about her story and I'm sure, wanted to learn more or see how the media portrayed it. Well, they left with an awful lot more. They listened to Carrie Underwood, Dennis Quiad, Anna Sophia Robb, and Helen Hunt sing "Blessed Be Your Name" on the big screen. They heard scripture after scripture quoted. They saw the questions being asked of "Why God let's bad things happen" or "How can this be His plan for my life?." They witnessed a family cling not only to each other but to the Lord's plan for each day. The watched the story of Bethany unfold as she struggled through her trial but with the strength that only He can give, she overcame it and discovered something greater than she thought was possible. Pretty cool.

If you have a free time with Easter breaks coming up, check it out. It's a tear jerker so be prepared.( My eyes were brimming with tears the entire time. )

Here's the trailer :

What is a Trader?

During our small group yesterday, a friend showed us this video and I think I have watched it 7 times since than. I imagine I will continue to watch it over and over because I am still fully grasping it.

Trav and I are learning & growing in ways we couldn't even imagine right now. One of the biggest challenges is being content in all aspects of our lives. I love how this video talks about the "hijacked version of the American dream."

To say this video is convicting is an understatement. I had to share it....hope you all like it as much as we did!

Everything I Need

I was silly. I was unrealistic. I worked it up in my mind a little too much. I was not thinking about God's timing. I'm working on not being disappointed. I'm working on being patient. I'm working on letting go of the whole timing thing.

I threw myself a pretty nice pity party this morning. Partly because it's about to be that "time of month", partly because I just needed a good, solid cry, and partly because I built what this would be like up in my mind for 2 years only to have it be different. The end of nursing school wasn't supposed to be like this.

For 2 years we have talked and prayed about the end of nursing school. It would finally mean our life can move ahead again. For two years we have waited and taken steps back while everyone around us took steps forward. But it was ok. It was hard but it was ok because there was this light at the end of the tunnel, January 30, then end of school. 

I made a huge mistake. I had this unrealistic, almost fairytale like, picture of how this would be. I would finish school, we would find a place to live, we would get a puppy, I would get a job, and within a few months we would be expecting our first child. Was I crazy? Maybe it was all the diet dr. pepper! Coming back to the real world, as you can imagine, nothing has unfolded like that. In fact, nothing has changed. Which is normal. But not in my crazy, fantasy world mind.

Instead, we are finding ourselves being hit left and right with unexpected bills yet there is no second income coming in yet. I have been rejected from 9 new graduate programs here, in Colorado, and in Texas. ( Now, a part of that is because I haven't even taken my state boards and these days a hospital could give less about you if you are not official. Also, I don't have my BSN.) But getting those rejection emails still blows regardless. We are no closer to having a place to live of our own again, owning a pup, and let alone even think of a baby.I've been frustrated. A little mad. Very disappointed. I've ignored the encouraging words from my family and Trav, letting them disappear out the other ear without every digesting them. Trav sends me frequent texts or whispers to me when I'm falling asleep at night, " Our time will come. Just trust, Emma. We will be blessed, we are blessed, we just have to wait." I couldn't ask for a sweeter and more encouraging husband yet as he is reminding me this in my mind I'm saying, " You want me to be patient longer? Wait longer? Why can't we be blessed now the way I want to be blessed? Let's just make our own plan."

And than the Fish plays a song, one I have heard so many times but never really paid attention to, and I find myself convicted right than and there as I have been many times before. We are more blessed than we could even imagine. We have life pretty good all because of Jesus. That's all, and I mean all, that matters. We don't need more money, we don't need our own place to live, we don't need to have the best job, and we don't need all the stuff. But we do need a life filled with Jesus. We need His love, His grace, and His intervention. All of the things I was worried about or wanted to fall into place are just things to fill our life with.

It's going to be a challenge to let it all go, but from here on out there is nothing Trav or I need except for Jesus, filling us completely in every aspect of our lives. And when it is finally our timing, it's going to be better than great because we have waited, trusted, and let go. Wherever we live next whether it be a house, apartment, or a cardboard box I will cherish it that much more because of this waiting time in our lives right now. When the Lord decides to bless us with a puppy or a baby I will cherish every moment a hundred times more. When I am given a nursing position I will work that much harder, be that much more compassionate, and that much more thankful. When Trav is finally promoted we will be that much more grateful for the new hours and the new salary.

It's so comforting to know we are not in this alone. And I'm excited to wait and see the Lord's plan unfold.

Josh Wilson "Savior, Please"

While listening to the Fish while writing a careplan, this song came on. Love the Fish...love Josh Wilson's music....love how lyrics speak to me.

So, Lord, as I head into my last week of school please hold me. Don't let me forget why I have been working so hard and what I am working towards. Remind me daily why I am here and how this life is nothing compared to the eternity I will have with you one day. Hold Trav and I as we wait to see where life leads us.

I Will Follow

The Fish always seems to provide me with my weekly songs. And they always come at just the right moment where I know God is using the lyrics to speak directly to me. However, this song hasn't just stuck around for my weekly song, it's been much longer.

If you haven't heard "I Will Follow" by Chris Tomlin I am attaching the link below so you can. It's wonderful. Right now Trav and I are at an odd place. I'm finishing school. Trav is on the verge of being promoted. I'm figuring out my specialty. Trav is figuring out his lifelong career. We are still living at home. But in 10 or so weeks all of this could/will change. Where will we be in February you may ask? I don't know. Actually, I don't have the slightest idea. We could be right here in Brea. We could be in South County. Trav could be at Target. I could be at Choc. Trav could be coaching. I could be in Labor and Delivery working. We could be in San Diego, Arizona, Colorado, St. Louis, or Maine for all that matters. We have no idea what our future holds and it is slightly scary but really exciting.

It's easy for Trav and I to talk about "our" plans. Because we always know what's best for us, right? Ha. We have definitely learned that when praying for our future, it means letting go of our worries, concern, doubt, wonderment, and our own plans while laying it at the Lord's feet and saying, " Here. Lead us. Guide us. Place us where YOU have planned for the two of us to be." Yikes that is hard. It's taken a year and a half for Trav and I to be able to pray that with peaceful minds and a calm heart as we truly do trust He will lead us. There hasn't been a morning or an evening of each day for the past 1 1/2 years where we haven't joined together to pray for what's to come after nursing school. Trav always ends our prayers with, " Lord, let us follow you. Guide us to where you need us to be. " It's those words that Trav lifts up that either let me fall asleep with a restful mind or start my day with encouragement. The Lord is good and I know His plan for our life is going to be great whatever it may be.

It's interesting how we have grown over this time I've been in school. There were days I really doubted our future and was insistent about "my" plan. Than there were days Trav was worried and had his own plan in mind. But somewhere in the midst of all the nightly talks, the internet searching, the Concordia Chapel chats, and most importantly the prayers, we both came to one solid ground with only one thing for certain: It's not our plan and we want to openly with a gracious heart seek for what God has planned for us. It's exciting. Don't get me wrong though, I still freak out. I like to have things planned out and the unknown tends to freak me out big time. However, John Tesh told me the other morning ( Yes, he too speaks directly to me) " Never fear the unknown with a known God."

So we will work on not fearing the unknown. And we will continue to pray for His plan to unfold. (Sooner rather than later, Lord! ;) ) We do ask that you keep us in your prayers over these next 8 weeks. Nursing school has not just been something I've been going through. Trav has been every bit as deep into it as I have been and little does he know these last 8 weeks are going to be one heck of a ride! :-) But there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Please pray that we are able to keep our focus on God's plan and the amazing things He has in store for us in this upcoming year. And that we never loose site of wanting to follow where He leads.

The Story Behind All the Pink

October is breast cancer awareness month. It's a time where we take 31 days to honor those who survived, remember those we've lost, encourage those still fighting, and join together for  finding a cure. I love this month. Not just because the weather is changing (well, kinda) or because fall decor and scents are everywhere but because aside from all the Halloween decorations out, there is pink scattering every store. Football fields are scattered with pink shoes, gloves, towels, hats, and more. You see, I love pink. But there is more to the color pink than it just being a "cute" color. Let me tell you what pink means to me and why in high school it became my favorite color.

There have been few times I have shared even a snippet of this story with anyone. But I think it's time I do...time for me to open up and hope that I can help someone else through my family's story. So, be prepared...I'm about to get brutally honest and make a part of my life an open book.

Growing up my mom and I had a somewhat typical mother-daughter relationship. When I was a young child I strived to be like her. I wanted to help her cook, I attempted to fold laundry with her, go for long walks finding the biggest sticks and rocks, and I couldn't take a nap without her falling asleep with me. Those years passed by and I hit grade school. Most of these still stayed true although I did want to exert my own independence. But still, I turned to my mom when I wanted to shave my legs for the first time, talk about issues at school, read a good book or to share in the everyday joys of life. After that I hit middle school and I'm sure my mom wanted me as far away from her as I wanted to be. You see, my parents aired on the strict/conservative side. So what my friends were wearing or doing or watching in middle school, I was not allowed. Did I react well to that? No. I believe my entire 7th grade year was spent being grounded from the phone due to the fact that I often talked back with quite the amount of sarcasm. I slowly grew out of that stage, but not completely. High school came and my "cool" factor ( or what I thought) sky rocketed. I was independent....after all I was a big freshman. Ha! But it led to battles over dresses for dances, curfew hours, and where I was allowed to go on the weekends. My junior year rolled around and I was living the dream. School was great. Friends were even better. And I was loving the social life of high school. I had been given a lead in the spring musical, my first, and I had my first real relationship. But in one day, that all crashed down around me.

I knew something was wrong. I came home from school, took a nap, and woke up feeling weird. I had about 10 missed calls from my sisters that I had ignored while I was asleep. I finally answered Lea's call and knew instantly from the sound of her voice things were going to change. "Did you hear?" she asked. I didn't even need to respond. I knew what was coming. At that moment I heard the garage door open and I fled downstairs. As I hit the bottom step my dad walked through the door....I saw the sadness in his eyes. I peered behind him to see my mom, tears lining the brim of her eyes. I shook my head no but she confirmed my worst nightmare. "It's cancer." One never wants to hear that word associated with their parents, let alone come out of their own mouth. She wrapped me in a huge hug and as tears streamed down my face she said, in a calm voice, "Don't worry. Everything will be fine."

"Are you kidding me? Fine? You just told me you had cancer. How can you be telling me you will be fine?" Of course, I did not say this out loud. Instead I did the mature ( ha) thing, picked up the car keys, and took off. I sat in my car and cried until there were no tears left in me. I came home and couldn't talk. My parents sat on the couch talking about treatment options and I wanted to put my hands over my ears and scream at them to stop. That my mom didn't have cancer and this was all a nightmare. Mature again, right? Dramatic? Yes. The next day I was sitting next to my big sis in chapel ( she was my teacher) while two students sang Celine Dion's "The Prayer." There I sat, on the school bleachers, with tears once again streaming down my face. Lyns reached over and grabbed my hand. She stayed strong for the both of us. Life became a blur the next few weeks. My mom's surgery was coming up fast. I was scared. I didn't know how to handle what I was feeling. At a time in my life when I should have turned and ran into Christ's open arms, I didn't. I was angry. How could he love us but put my mom and our family through this?

All of my sisters were in town for her surgery. I went in to tell my mom I loved her before she went back and almost lost it. All I could think of was, " Please let her be here to help me find my wedding dress when the time comes. To hold my baby in her arms one day. To hug me and tell me she is proud of me. "  I wanted to take back every hurtful thing I had ever said, everytime I ignored her or chose hanging with someone else instead of spending time with her.  My mom did great through her surgery and she looked great after. She was able to choose her surgery option and she choose a mastectomy that would be followed with chemotherapy. She finally came home...to my dad and I ...after everyone else returned home. My dad is amazing. He emptied her drains without ever showing a glimmer of discomfort or hesitance. He stepped up in household duties and his love for my mom and this life changing experience was remarkable to see .I used to watch him and think, " Wow, that is what true love is. That is what it means when the vows say, "in sickness and health." My mom's cancer affected each of us differently. We all reacted different, handled it different, and played different roles in our mom's recovery. I won't speak for my sisters and my dad. This will just be from my experience.


Having my mom home after surgery changed things. You see, all of a sudden she was not able to do things she used to. She was tired but she fought through it. Her mobility was compromised and assistance was needed with the smallest of things. Our schedules changed in our house. So did our roles. My mom and I switched roles . Her ability to shower or go to the bathroom on her own was gone. I would bathe her  and than blow her hair dry for her. After her chemo started there were times when I would be doing her hair and just a little more than usual would end up on the brush. I would always hide it in my hand and throw it in a different trash can. She never lost her hair with cancer...she was fortunate. A humbling experience was assisting my mom to use the bathroom. Picture taking a toddler, helping them all the way through. But I didn't mind. She was my mom after all. Aside from that, I shaved her legs, covered her with lotion, made sure she was comfortable, and any other aspect of daily care. I started setting my alarm extra early in the morning so I could help my dad, help my mom, and get ready for school. If my dad wasn't able to head home at lunch, I would so that my mom could go to the bathroom and get something to eat. I always headed back right after school to do the same. I worried about her when I was out with friends, at school, or anywhere other than home. Family friends were amazing and frequently brought over meals that was the biggest blessing. I was tired but my dad, he never showed it. And my mom maintained a positive attitude through it all. One day, she told me the verse that helped her and she hoped would help me. It was 1 Peter 5:7," Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you." There my mom was, amidst all she was going through, making sure I was ok and knew that this was all apart of His plan. She would tell me how there was a reason for this, how He doesn't give you more than you can handle, and that someday, we will see the good that came from it all.


I didn't really believe it still though. Shortly after my mom came home she started chemo and a whole new routine took place at our house. On the days of her treatment I would go to her Kindergarten class after school and help out, taking them to computer class and finishing up the day. What amazes me is that through it all my mom still taught. Chemo didn't slow her down. The first time I took her to chemo broke me. I was doing fine, sitting with her as she was hooked up, but than something changed. She must have realized it because she suggested I head next door and grab a soda. It was a good thing because I felt like I was choking....my chest was tight... I couldn't breath...and I pushed through the front doors and took a deep breath of fresh air. How could my mom be hooked up chemo? What in the world are you doing God? How can something good come from this?Looking back, I realize how silly I was to question Him. Because she was immunocompromised we had to be careful at home. Every fresh fruit or veggie had to be scrubbed and we had special soap to use. Mouth sores are a common side effect, so my dad cooked bland dinners so she wouldn't have any irritation. But she still trucked on.. always with a smile...always with my dad smiling beside her. 

One of the memories I will always hold close to my heart came during her chemo regimen. When I was in junior high and even high school, my mom would try to hold my hand when we went out. Being the brat that I was I would pull my hand away and tell her I was "too old" ( what I meant was too "cool") to be holding my mom's hand in public. She would reply in a sad voice, "But you're my baby." ( It's like when she used to used to come with me into the changing room or ask to see a swimsuit to approve it before purchasing and I would say no. She would always reply," I birthed those buns!") Looking back at those moments I regret how I responded. My mom tired easily during her chemo. But she rarely showed it, instead she did her best to keep a smile and keep pushing through. She would have me help her walk around the house as she clinged on for strength. When she was able to make it around the house without we would head outside to try walking to the greenbelt. Than we moved onto the mall and would make a slow lap inside the Brea mall....and I held her hand tightly every time. This time it was me who didn't want to let go. 


During all of this my mom had the appetite of a hippo. Seriously. We would always go to Arbys after our Brea mall walks and she would order TWO roast beef sandwiches, fries, and she would even finish my food! My dad used to make daily runs to Marie Calenders or Polly's for a slice of banana cream pie. It got to the point where he was tired of making so many trips so he would just buy the whole pie....and my mom would eat the entire thing in two settings all while waking up having lost weight the next day! 


Anyway, somewhere, in the midst of all of this, I changed. A part of me grew up way beyond my years. I took my faith and leaped with it. I had lost it for a brief bit but when I pushed aside my selfish feelings and saw how the Lord was working and how great His love and grace is, I was convicted and changed. My faith became a living, breathing, every second of the day part of me instead of merely the routine of going to Christian schools, church, chapel, and the whole bit. I now had an intimate and personal relationship with my Savior that is still growing daily. 


And somehow, at sometime...maybe it was showering my mom or maybe it was cheering her on as she made the lap around the mall....I realized I was created and designed to be a nurse. Taking care of someone, seeing their recovery, encouraging them, providing dignity and respect, and doing the smallest of things to make one person's day a little better is what I have been called to do. Even when I tried to ignore it due to fear of failing, the Lord still called out to me that his is what He had created me for.


As silly as it may sound, pink is more than a color to me. It's a reminder of the roller coaster in my faith journey that led me to know Christ in a deeper, stronger, and closer relationship. It's a reminder of the battle my mom fought and the journey my family went through. It is Hope. Strength. Faith. Fight. Courage. Love. Healing. I always said if I ever were to get a tatoo ( don't freak out mom, I'm not saying I am!) it would be the breast cancer ribbon turned sideways to replicate the fish and remind me that the Lord doesn't give me anything I cannot handle, but desires for me to live each day to His glory, and with that He alone will help me through whatever is put before me.


Cancer doesn't scare me anymore. Breast cancer has made it's way through my family. It robbed me of ever meeting my grandma. My great aunt Katie and my aunt Barbara each fought their own battle, traveled their own journey, and overcame it. Oncology has become a passion for me. I would be honored to work with cancer patients one day whether in the hospital setting or simply volunteer work. I'm not sure what field of nursing I will end up in but I do know that I will always look at a bald head and think beauty, fight, and love. I will always look towards a cancer patient and think courage, strength, and hope.  


Being that this is breast cancer awareness month, I encourage YOU to do something. Maybe you have never been to the doctor for a annual check up: Call your doctor and schedule one. Maybe you know someone who has fought breast cancer or is fighting : encourage them and let them know you are proud of their fight. Maybe you have lost a family member to breast cancer : Purchase the $1 ribbon at the grocery and write it in their memory. Maybe you have no connection to breast cancer at all: Pray for those who are struggling. Tell your mom, grandma, aunt, sister, daughter, cousin, or friend that you love them. And go buy something pink :-)


Mom, I love you super duper bunches, whole lotta love. I'm thankful for you each day. 

 Kahler Ladies

 

"Our Family is a circle of strength and love. With every birth and every union the circle grows. Every joy shared adds more love.Every crisis faced together makes the circle stronger"

My mom helped me pick out my wedding dress....and yes, we still hold hands =)

Amazed

This morning Trav and I taught Kindergarten Sunday school. A fresh batch of kiddos, new curriculum, and a great start to a new Sunday school year! It's surprising how much WE learn from teaching the kids and taking in what they can teach us. I always leave these Sundays with a restored childlike faith because there is just something so powerful, so pure, and so eager about it that we should never loose site of it.

We came back this evening to the night service called Engage. We really enjoyed it tonight. It was entirely unexpected that we went, but a totally God thing. We took my Aunt Katie to dinner at Ricardos, which is close to church. Afterward we pulled out of the parking lot and Trav looked at the clock. He said nonchalantly, " well we could make it to Engage." I didn't even hesitate with my response of "yes". Although we were a few minutes late we snuck in the back and listened to a message that we both needed to hear. It was on rest and keeping the Sabbath day holy. Lately, Trav has been overworked and I have been crammed with school work. Sometimes we forget that we need time to not only rejuvenate ourselves but also our faith. After all, God worked hard for 6 days and than rested. It makes sense that we as Christians do the same....with our working lives and our faith. At the end of the message they passed out paper for all of us to make a commitment to rest and rejuvenate. Trav and I each wrote out ways we can rest, rejuvenate, and encourage each other each week. We sealed it off with a prayer, committing this to the Lord. Afterward, we chatted outside with some friends, leaders we used to work with in the youth department, and some new faculty. It was just what we needed. Trav was asked to lead a small group session for some of the youth males. I think he will be excellent at it. I would love to pursue that as well with the gals but my school schedule just doesn't allow time for me that works with a high school youth schedule. I also really love our church family. Being a member of the Lutheran church my whole life it really is a small world. Everyone has known me since I was a toddler and watched me grow up. They watched as Trav and I met, dated, and than began our journey of marriage. It is so comforting having people from all areas of the church and school life come up to chat with us or check in to see how we are doing with all the transitions in our life and let us know that they are supporting us and praying for us. It is such a comfort and we are pretty blessed with the church family we have.

This song was sung in church tonight and I have been humming it since we got home. I love the lyrics and hope you enjoy listening to it as well!

Servant's Heart

The Simple Truths of Service | The Simple Truths of Service Movie


This movie was shown to us during our clinical post conference today. I love inspirational stories like this that grab at your heart. A servant's heart is a wonderful gift to have.

Enjoy!

Healing Begins - Tenth Avenue North - w/lyrics

Another one of my favorite artists and songs! I often hear a song that really means something to me and I hang on to it, playing it over an over! I go through "songs of the week". This one is this weeks and I just love it.

Music was always my passion and I miss it. It was a way for me to express myself. Music makes me feel and moves me. One of these days I will find a way to be involved with something musically again. Until than, I will just soak up the good music that is out there.

Be strong in the Lord....

I LOVE this song! I blast it when it comes on the Fish! Hope you enjoy it as much as I do :)

The words are so powerful, reassuring, and comforting.

"Don't forget why you are here. Take your time and pray"

Behind the Music

I have loved this song for awhile. It helped me see through some tough things that were changing around me. I fell in love with it even more when I dug deeper to see what the inspiration behind the song was. It's amazing. It still makes me cry every time I watch the videos but well worth it! There are more videos you can google that continue on the family's story.

Enjoy! The song is wonderful....the story is miraculous.

Lou Gehrig's Disease

We are currently going over the Neuro system in my med-surg lecture. If you haven't heard of Lou Gehrig's disease, it is pretty devastating.

If you have a few minutes, this is a really sweet story of a couple who fought through the disease together. I love inspirational medical stories like this.

Tom's Dream: A World Without ALS (A Love Story)