Josh Wilson "Savior, Please"

While listening to the Fish while writing a careplan, this song came on. Love the Fish...love Josh Wilson's music....love how lyrics speak to me.

So, Lord, as I head into my last week of school please hold me. Don't let me forget why I have been working so hard and what I am working towards. Remind me daily why I am here and how this life is nothing compared to the eternity I will have with you one day. Hold Trav and I as we wait to see where life leads us.

Oh Emergency!

This past week I had my last clinical EVER for nursing school! I cannot even believe the end is so close. Although we have two simulation labs this week, last Wednesday was our last day at Placentia-Linda Hospital for our critical care rotation.

I originally was on the schedule for the ER. However, since my instructor hadn't been with me to pass meds during this term I knew she was going to ask Brooke and I to stay on telemetry for the day. That would make it my 3rd day on the tele unit and I would have been bummed to miss the ER since I knew I would never work there but at least experience it for a day. I've passed plenty of meds in my days of school. I could crush and administer through a G-tube with my eyes closed with one arm only. Of course I can always practice calculating and pushing IV meds or hanging a piggyback, but to be honest, I really didn't want to. While being team lead one day I helped classmates pull their meds from the Pyxis system and administer. They told me that when my instructor asked who hadn't passed meds to simply say I had "handled" medications. I couldn't do that though.


So, the morning of clinical I called my dad on the way as usual. We discussed the possibility of me either being placed in the ER or Tele for my final day. I believe I told my dad the ER would be too complicated so I should probably just do Tele because that felt safe to me. My dad of course encouraged me to challenge myself and plead for the ER. 

Our clinical group gathered in the cafeteria to meet before we broke off to our assigned units. Our instructor went around asking where we were each headed and told us to go our own ways. I blurted out that I was assigned to the ER and she said, " See ya. Have fun!" but I didn't budge. I couldn't because what if she asked who hadn't passed meds. Ah! I was wise to stay put because right after she asked who had not given meds with her yet. Brooke and I slowly raised our hands and we told to head to tele to spend the day.  I couldn't tell if I was bummed or relieved. Maybe a mix of both. I think she noticed our confused faces ( Brooke really wanted to go to ICU) so she threw out the option that we could choose where to spend our last clinical day since it's our experience and we could pass medications in any unit. A dilemma. Do I choose telemetry so I am guaranteed a patient info for my last careplan? Or do I choose Er which I am scared to death to be in and probably won't like it? I blurted out ER before I could think any more......and I am SO glad I did!

From the minute I walked into the ER I knew it was going to be a fabulous day. There were 3 male nurse and one female who took myself and my classmate, Gem, under their wing right away. They walked us through how the ER is run and what their expectations were from us. Now on most floors we are put to work doing daily patient care such as bed baths, oral care, feeding, dressing, toileting and so on. I don't mind that and I would prefer to do the complete care for my patients while providing them dignity, respect, and kindness than how some of the CNAs treat them. But, after 2 years of doing that, I am ready to add some excitement! In the ER they trusted the two of us to perform as an RN, all duties. We were starting IVs, passing meds, hooking patients up to 12 leads, giving straight catheters and regular foleys, setting up for specialty exams and collecting specimens all on our own, all day. I was in heaven. There is a thrill with putting an IV in. Granted, I have yet to not get it on the first try but I know when I get a tough vein or mess up I will probably be crushed and there will be no thrill to it! The first one I put in was this man that reminded me of my dad. He was in for chest pain and after hooking him up to a 12 lead to make sure he was not having an MI, I started his IV. We chatted away the whole time and he had no idea, but he was calming me while I was getting ready. When I saw the flashback (the blood that pools once you are in the vein) I wanted to squeal. After the IV was secure and he was taped up he patted my hand and said, " I didn't feel a thing! Thank you!' No sir, thank YOU for being a wonderful patient and having the same calming effect that my dad has!


To say I loved the ER is an understatement. I loved the staff I was with. Er has more male nurses than the floor and there is something about having a guy in the mix that changes things. Girls are catty and drama no matter where you are, but throw a guy in the loop and it eliminates part of that. The nurses we worked with  challenged us. They quizzed us all day. When a patient would come in, we were asked what 3 possible diagnosis could be for their presenting signs and symptoms, what labs would be ordered and why, and so forth. Before anything we did they would question us as to why this was needed. It really made me critically think through everything. I loved the hustle and bustle. I should have known I would work well under pressure since I usually save all of my homework till the last minute and somehow crank it out. Being under pressure in the ER I felt that I worked better as a nurse than before. I liked being barked orders to run to bed 3 for a 12 lead and than bed 4 for a foley with specimen. I loved that in some cases we had minutes to intervene in a situation. I know I need to be on a unit that will keep me busy because down time kills me


To say everything went perfect that day is false. I missed a straight cath on an elderly female, but I learned a great trick so next time I will be able to do it faster. I was so excited about collecting a specimen and rushing it to the lab I forgot to write how it was collected on the label. I will never forget that now! On one foley insert there was so much going on with her infection in the area, my eyes were burning and watering from the smell. I wanted to lean over my shoulder and hurl but I reminded myself that I was there to help this lady. And what I was about to do would be a step in her getting better. But I learned more in my short time there than I could have imagined. Everything from nursing school fell into place in the ER. It's one thing to take a test on the material that was taught. You learn to work the tests. To read the answers first and know exactly which one it the right one. But applying it to real life is an entirely different concept. I learned to critically think FAST in the ER. I learned how to take everything I have studied and put it into practice. I learned to face fears, to ignore smells without gagging, and push myself to be the best that I could be for each patient I encountered.


I know I want to work with pediatrics. I love kids and I can't imagine not working with them. For me, things are easier with kids. A child can throw up, poop, spit, pee, and who knows what all over and I won't flinch. Adults, I can't say the same. But a pediatric Er sounds pretty interesting to me and I truly think I would love it. I would miss having a relationship with families from prolonged hospital stays, but it would be fun to do for a little while and than maybe I can head into Peds Oncology. I may not land a job in Peds right away but I now know what my next goal is and the prayers are starting now. :-)
 

Wonderful Christmas

I can't believe Christmas has come and gone. Why does it seem to pass by quicker each year? I love Christmas. Everything about it makes me excited for it to come each year. I love knowing that the day after Thanksgiving radio stations turn to Christmas songs and watching lights go up outside of homes and the glimmer of trees shining through the windows. I love the traditions that come with Christmas, carrying on the ones we grew up with and now making some of our own as well. I love singing traditional Christmas hymns in church and watching each week as the advent candle adds a new flame, knowing we are that much closer to the celebration of our King's birth.

This year, we had a new challenge with Christmas. The past years we have been extremely spoiled having our families live 7 minutes apart. Even when we were dating, we would travel back and forth throughout the day to each others home. When we were married, it was easy as can be going from house to house and not missing a minute of either Christmases. My parents moved last spring so I knew that this Christmas would take some rearranging in our schedules to make it work. Trav always works Christmas Eve which puts a twist into the picture as well. All of my family was going to AZ. We haven't spend a Christmas with the Butterfields or Ermelings since before our wedding nor has my entire family all been together under the same roof since our wedding. Since Trav's mom was going to work this Christmas, Trav said of course we would head to AZ for Christmas morning. We didn't want to miss out on the Hardeman Christmas either though and thankfully it all worked out perfectly.

On Christmas Eve morning, we treated it as Christmas morning in the Hardeman house and it was lovely! We all wore our matching jams and it felt just as magical as if it was the actual day. It was fun seeing Van and Huddy so into Christmas this year. Kids really, truly add something special to Christmas morning. Heidi made a delicious egg dish and Cindy had apple cider ready when we woke up. That was always my favorite in the past years. Coming downstairs and grabbing a red mug full of cider than heading to curl up on the couch! We spent the day relaxing and than headed to church that night. It's hard not worshiping with Trav on Christmas but I know it's just temporary and his schedule will change eventually. I'm thankful to have the Hardemans around though so I did have family to worship with. Cindy made a delicious dinner and I stuffed myself silly again, starting off the Christmas feasts! It was a great day!

That night when Trav got off work we packed up and headed out to AZ....by car. I drove while Trav slept and as we were leaving my dad sent me a text saying, " Whether you get here at 4 or 30 minutes later, we will all still be here. Please drive SLOW! Oh man, if only he knew how quickly I got us to Palm Springs! At our pit stop there I had this bright idea to let Trav keep sleeping so I bought a Red Bull. It worked and I was singing along to music the whole way to Blythe, bright eyed and bushy tailed. ( However, I will NEVER even look at a Red Bull again. Christmas morning my stomach hated me. I felt like it was eating me from the inside out. What was I thinking?!?!) My sisters ( aka: other moms) were worry warts and kept calling/texting to make sure we were ok. Somehow we made it there. That last 2 hour stretch was brutal. I was nodding off while Trav was driving and I am pretty sure when I came too once, his eyes were closed. But we made it! It was an adventure and I would do it again if we had too! We unloaded all our stuff and Trav passed out! I was so excited I couldn't sleep ( even though I only had an hour before the kids woke up) and by the time I finally fell asleep, I heard excited voices upstairs.

The Kahler Christmas morning was wonderful as well. 9 excited grandkids led to a fun morning. It was absolutely wonderful having the whole family in one room and I found myself stepping back to take it all in, as if I was snapping mental pictures that I will carry with me forever. I've missed these moments of having us all together but I don't take them for granted anymore when we do have them. My sisters and mom had stayed up on Christmas Eve to make our traditional Christmas breakfast that we all wait for each year. We spent the day undoing toys, reading books, watching games on tv, and Trav golfed. A delicious dinner was made and than Trav headed to the airport to fly home. He was such a trooper for literally having an hour of sleep! 

I tried to soak as much of our Christmases up because I have no clue what next year holds. I know Trav will be working Christmas Eve again. I know that I will probably have to work Christmas day seeing that I will be the "rookie" in whatever job I find. I don't know where we will be located or who we will be with. But I am very thankful for fun times, the joy and laughter, and celebration of Christ's birth that we were able to share with all of our family this year.

Here is a video from the Hardeman Christmas that Heidi made. (I tried uploading a shutterfly album from the Kahler Christmas and I could not figure out how : ( )

Hardeman Christmas 2010

A nonproductive study break...but a great blast from the past!

 As you are about to tell I have been really productive with my time since I got home from class! On Facebook this past weekend there was this movement of putting up a picture of your favorite childhood cartoon as a way to fight back against child abuse. Well, I had a hard time thinking of my favorite...Tail Spin? Gummy Bears? Chip n Dale? I started remembering shows from when I was a kid. Trav and I always talk about how our cartoons and shows were so much better than what is on now. You didn't have to worry about all the censoring or what could possibly be on an episode. They were just carefree and geared towards KIDS! 

I youtubed the theme song for Fraggle Rock and it kept suggesting more cartoons from the good old 80s and early 90s. I than became seriously distracted going to each one to see what I remembered. I decided to share them with you! :-) Now, what's going to happen when I enter in "Saved by the Bell" or "Brady Bunch" ?!

( Just click on the link to hear the theme song! I know you feel like procrastinating from whatever you are doing right now to skip down memory lane....)

Fraggle Rock

Disney Gummy Bears

Chip N Dale Rescue Rangers

Duck Tales

Dark Wing Duck

Tail Spin

Care Bears

Under the Umbrella Tree

Reading Rainbow

Smurfs

Jetsons

Flintstones

Snorks

Wuzzles

Animaniacs

Tiny Toons

Critical Care

I am already 4 weeks into my final term of nursing school. I can't even believe it! My classes consist of critical care lecture and clinical along with a course called Integration of Nursing concepts. All I have to say is...it's alot of work! 

I truly like critical care but it is challenging. I usually am able to grasp concepts right away but this stuff I study for hours and I still can't comprehend it! I am just waiting for the day when it all just "clicks". ( It hasn't yet, lol) My lecture instructor is a hoot. She is straight from the south and her accent is amazing. Alot about her reminds me of my mom from her pixie hair cut, her animated stories, and more.She has been a flight nurse, trauma nurse, cardiac nurse, and the list goes on. She knows her stuff! Thankfully, she keeps class moving at a good pace but she keeps us focused and enthusiastic. Aside from her brutal test, I look forward to Tuesday morning with her.

Critical care clinical is at Placentia-Linda, this tiny little hospital hidden on Rose Drive. I love it! It's small enough where you don't feel lost as a nursing student but yet a handful of the nurses are willing to teach with a joyful attitude. We are rotated through units such as tele, ER, GI lab, outpatient surgery, ICU, and a day as team leader. After having a break between terms when we finally stepped into the hospital for the first day of clinical, I sighed a sigh of relief. I love hospitals. I love the shiny floors, the beeping call lights and IV pumps, the hustle and bustle, and constant changing. It's just the right place for me. :-)

Integration of nursing concepts may be the death of me. We are set up with an online virtual classroom where we had to take a predictor test for the state boards and based off our initial scores we are assigned a calendar to prep for these next weeks. I was given a 5 week one which entails practice exams after practice exams. And if you don't meet the bench mark score you are given remediation assignments and yes, more practice exams. I'm killing my eyes from staring at a computer taking tests all day....I'm also going to give myself some serious skin breakdown from sitting on my bum on the bed all day to do so! On top of that we have exams to take through HESI, Kaplan, and evolve case studies. Whew.

Last but not least, Simulation lab. I take back what I said before because THIS will be the death of me. I have my first testing this week on Wed/Thurs. Last week, they failed everyone on the first day. At least I won't have high expectations going in. This is where they see what we are made of. We have a whole suite on our campus for Sims. It is set up just like a hospital inside. In each room is a dummy, computerized charting, med carts, monitors, O2, and more. On one side of the room the whole wall is a one way window...that way our classmates can sit on the other side and critique us. In the corner is another one way window that leads into the control room where multiple instructors sit to evaluate you and control the situation. We each get 20 minute scenarios. We are given report, assigned a classmate to be our CNA, and that we must perform our head to toe assessment and enviroment checks within 5 min. Should you miss one thing, you miss it all. They grade us for technique, teaching, delegation, and the list goes on. At some point in the scenario our patient changes. He/She may have an MI, stroke, seizure, pneumonia, allergic reaction, pulmonary embolism, GI bleed, hypovolemia, A-fib, and undergo respiratory depression. They may go into V-tach/fib and need to be defibrilated which in that case we call a code and run through the whole thing, with a live, working defib machine. 

They want to see our focused assessments when something changes, nonpharmacological interventions, how we contact physicians, how we order labs and take med phone orders, how we chart, hang blood, push IV meds, and more. One of the instructors does the voice of the patient so that they actually respond to what we say. They are the doctor or pharmacist or charge nurse or whomever we call. There are cameras on us the whole time so they can zoom in to see the smallest of details. They record it so we can watch ourselves after and see what needs to be changed. The dummies are like live people. They sweat, cry, become cyanotic, have sputum, snot, they pee, they vomit, the poop, they seize, they show all physical signs of a stroke, and their pupils react to light. All sounds are there too. Every heart sound, lung sound, and bowel sound can be assessed. Pulses can be felt and their chest rises when they breath. You can get a real blood pressure reading too. And our instructors know if we touched the pulse in the right spot or listened to the right locations on the heart because it shows on their monitors.

Can you see why I am nervous? I want to throw up just thinking about it! I'm just praying I don't blank on Wed and I pray I don't kill or harm my fake but real patient! I can't believe these are the final weeks. I'm so ready to be done but seriously lacking the motivation to get there. I'm a breath away from being burned out. So please pray for strength and motivation to push through till the end!

Ermelings visit!!

The best part about schools in AZ is the early fall break they get! In October, the girls were given a week off from school so the Ermelings planned a Disneyland vacation! Of course I was pumped because that meant....they were coming to me! They had a fun trip planned and got great deals on Paradise Pier Hotel and multiple day pass to Disneyland!

Although I couldn't miss class and Trav was working, it still worked out for us to meet them at the happiest place on earth a few times. The new show, World of Color, at California Adventure is the hot new thing at Dland. However, you have to have a fast pass in order to see it. Lyns found that certain restaurants give you passes to up close viewing if you eat there first. So, we met them for a delicious dinner at Ariel's Grotto. After dinner we got front row viewing for the water show. It was beautiful! Disney really did a great job bringing everything to life. They had a long day at the parks before hand and Tessa was tired by the end of dinner. During the show I leaned down to see how she was liking it. She was swaying back and forth! She was sound asleep on her feet! I scooped her up and held her for the rest of the show. Oh how sad I'm going to be when I can't pick her up anymore!

The next morning we were both able to come back to fill a half of a day at the park! The girls had a list of rides they wanted to go on. They both love Big Thunder now....and I love that they are able to ride big rides finally! Lexi learned she was tall enough to drive her very own car on Autopia!!! I remember that feeling...you totally feel like you are driving your own car...ruling the road! Tessa went on Materhorn...twice!

We had a blast with them while they were here! The visit was too quick but I am thankful I have seen them already since than! Christmas couldn't come soon enough!!!

ALOHA

( I promise I will get back to writing about my last term. I've been avoiding it because I spend so much time studying and in the books that being on the computer to do something non nursing is a good break! As we speak, I am even taking an online practice exam but I simply cannot focus, so I thought I would blog)

Aloha means hello AND goodbye. For Trav and I this week, it meant goodbye. A few weeks ago Trav gave a presentation that would be the final piece in preparing for a promotion. He was approached before Thanksgiving in regards to being a top candidate and was asked if he was relocatable. He responded yes and gave a list of places we would be willing to go: Arizona, Colorado, San Diego, the bay area and St. Louis. They informed him he would not hear anything until after Christmas. Whew. We would have time to enjoy the holidays with family before any life changing decisions had to be made!

Yesterday Trav called me in the morning which is odd because usually he can't call until after a certain time. I was excited to hear from him and started rambling away. He interrupted me to say,

" My boss approached me. They would like to promote me and relocate us." What?!? Already? Where too? My heart was racing. He went on to say, "They want to send me to Hawaii."

I'm sorry, they want to WHAT?! I mean we have been praying for God to open a door for a long time now but I haven't been praying for a plane flight to the Big Island unless it's for a summer vacation! I quickly shook myself out of the initial shock and picked my heart back up from where it had dropped inside me. We began to talk through it. He needed more information and we were ready to be open to the possibility and research as well. But we had less than 24 hours to decide.

We both received advice throughout the day and did our own digging around into the possibility of living on the Big Island. There was a never ending or closing prayer that ran through my head and heart all day as I anxiously waited for Trav to come home so we could make our decision. Dinner at Ricardos, a comfortable and familiar place for us, was the perfect spot to have our heart to heart. The position they offered him was huge. He would be promoted as a business partner with Target, in charge of all asset protection for every island in Hawaii. On top of that he would be the District Facilities Manager for all of them as well. What an honor! However, it was a 3 year commitment...which can always turn into something longer. Every detail was laid out to talk about from cost of living, to nursing jobs, having kids, seeing family, and more. We worked through the pros and cons of living there.  Trav would island hop weekly to oversee each store, which also brought some concern to the table. 

We came to the decision that this was not the right move for us for multiple reasons. Thankfully Trav's boss had reassured him earlier in the day that if he was to decline the offer it would not hinder his chances in the next few months for another promotion. Trav found out as well that the lady who had chosen Trav was aware he was relocatable but not aware of his first choices. Trav let her know that he was willing to go to AZ, CA, CO, MO, and he added in TX. 

So, what now? We wait. He probably won't hear anything till after Christmas but the exciting thing is that where ever they offer him next will probably be something that we will take. As we talked last night we were both a little overwhelmed but really excited for the new adventure life is bringing us in 2011. I look back to a year ago and how we never would have thought of anything but the OC. And now, we have so many options and we are so excited to see where the Lord leads us. Our God is amazing and what a comfort it is to let everything go so He can lead. 

Now, I think a summer trip to the Hawaiian islands might be necessary......